Why Haters Need Better Boundaries

The election season is underway. If you live in the States, you’ve seen the ads, the debates, all analyzed by political pundits of every persuasion. Perhaps like me, you’ve seen heated arguments taking place on Facebook and wonder how people think it is permissible to share their perspectives in such an offensive and degrading way? 

These seasons seems to bring out the worst in us as human beings.

Over the months as I have waded through so much “spin” and political “talking points,” there is one focus that stands out, perhaps because of the psychotherapist in me. I am trained to view everything through the lens of emotional and spiritual health.

Though I may or may not agree with their political viewpoints, I can tolerate many different perspectives. Yet when I began to hear politicians and news media infer that the difference between the two political parties is “love” vs. “hate,” that anyone who believes in the rule of law is a racist or a hater, uncompassionate and cruel, that begins to raise my dander a bit.

The argument seems to be, if you want to be compassionate or show love to someone, you are allowed no boundaries. Likewise the logic follows that if you have any boundaries, you are mean-spirited and hate-filled. Nothing could be further from the truth, not just from a religious perspective, but from a psychological and emotional perspective as well.

A few months ago I wrote an article about the dangers of enabling others and how we can maximize peace in all of our relationships. You can read the article here.  

One of the most fundamental building blocks in relationships is boundaries.

Our world was designed with boundaries. Every cell in your body has a cell wall that differentiates and protects the cell, allowing that cell to serve its role as part of the whole. Every organ in your body has a physical boundary that allows them to perform their vital function working together to keep the body working properly. If our bodies had no physical or cellular boundaries, they would be a chaotic mess that would not conducive for maintaining life.

Boundaries don’t equate with hate.

Boundaries are not bad. They are good. Boundaries help define where we end and others begin. They help identify what is our responsibility and what is another’s responsibility. They give clarity, purpose, and wisdom.

I even have a chapter in by new book, Peace For A Lifetime, devoted to boundaries. You can learn more about my book here.

I want to challenge you that the very essence of emotional health or “differentiation” as we call it, is the ability to hold onto ourselves, our viewpoints, our identity, our beliefs and values, while being close to those who may or may not be just like us.

Boundaries free me from forcing another to abandon themselves to me;  they also free me from being forced to abandon myself to them in a relationship.

Tom Whitehead, a therapist and researcher offered, “A well-functioning boundary system leads to a healthy, fulfilling life. But dysfunctional boundaries leave us vulnerable and disorganized, incapable of coping with life’s simple problems.”

Families have boundaries, companies have boundaries, nations should and do have boundaries. Our nation’s boundaries are called laws. Laws are a necessary part of every civilization and prevent the country from descending into chaos and anarchy. Laws are written and enforced to protect its citizens and ensure safety within the country’s borders.

And yes, Jesus had boundaries. He knew when it was purposeful to minister and when it was not. He knew when He needed to withdraw to spend time alone with the Father. He was unafraid to call out religious leaders or prostitutes about their sin. Jesus was not a hater. He spoke the truth in love. He didn’t bend the truth for love.

[clickToTweet tweet="Jesus was not a hater. He spoke the truth in love. He didn’t bend the truth for love." quote="Jesus was not a hater. He spoke the truth in love. He didn’t bend the truth for love."]

Love without boundaries is chaos. Boundaries without love is abuse.

[clickToTweet tweet="Love without boundaries is chaos. Boundaries without love is abuse." quote="Love without boundaries is chaos. Boundaries without love is abuse."]

Where Two Roads Meet

It is critical to understand that it is possible and I would say, necessary, for us as individuals and as a nation learn to do both —to hold our boundaries with compassion and love. This is the place where two roads meet. This is the perfect example of Jesus. This is not hate-filled, racist, or anything other than Emotional Abundance. In fact, the better-equipped we are at drawing healthy boundaries, the greater our capacity to show love and compassion to others.

Are you able to discipline your children with both compassion and consequences?

Are you able to love family members, even though you disagree with them?

Is it difficult for you to show respect and kindness while drawing boundaries in order to protect or keep your family safe?

Do you find it hard to listen to another person’s perspective without becoming enraged and losing yourself in the argument?

Do you shy away from speaking your perspective for the sake of keeping the peace?

Find one person this week with whom you can listen, engage, and respect even though they may have differing opinions, thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. Begin to recognize moments where you begin to escalate. Why are you escalating? Would it be possible to calm yourself and keep yourself safe right in that moment?

I believe strongly that healing for our country will come only when we stop talking AT one another, berating and demonizing one another, and begin sitting WITH one another. This allows us to nurture a greater amount of respect for those with whom we disagree.

[clickToTweet tweet="Healing will come only when we stop talking AT one another and begin sitting WITH one another. " quote="Healing will come only when we stop talking AT one another and begin sitting WITH one another. "]

It really comes down to us.

Will you make your goal this political season to refrain from name-calling, belittling, and demonizing others and instead try to learn a little about their story and why they believe the way they do?

Agree to disagree in love. Hold your beliefs and values with compassion for others.

In the end, our nation will be the one who wins. Our neighborhoods will win.  In the end, maybe it's all of us who will win.  Will you join me?

If you haven't joined our community on Facebook, I would LOVE to have you be a part of our little online family!

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

---

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

Eight Qualities of People with Emotional Abundance

Ever wonder why some people seem to excel at whatever they do while others can never seem to get a break? It seems some people always have a knack of fitting-in, knowing just the right thing to say, getting every promotion and accolade as their careers skyrocket. Yet for others life feels more like a continuous rollercoaster of dysfunction and chaos, with roadblocks at every turn.

Why do so many of us feel like our lives have landed somewhere between a dead-end and a disaster? Why does success in life seem to come easily for some, while for others  always feels decidedly out of reach?

The reason is based in our intelligence, but not our intellectual intelligence, or IQ. That’s what Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., well-known writer and researcher on leadership who wrote the best-seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, says. Goleman has dedicated his work to finding out what makes people successful.

His research has concluded that success in life comes down to their emotional intelligence or what I call ‘Emotional Abundance.’ That’s what drives a person to excel. In fact, 80% of a person’s success in life is determined by their emotional skills while 20% is determined by their intellect.

As Goleman describes, If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.

So if Emotional Abundance is so important, exactly what is it? As I define in my new book, Peace For A Lifetime, Emotional Abundance is:

The ability to feel our emotions, to reason through our emotions, to understand our emotions, and to effectively manage our emotions so we can appropriately respond to the people and circumstances around us. EA is the capacity to meet the demands of everyday life and create meaning in order to move forward in a positive direction.

I’ve found eight qualities in Emotionally-Abundant people that are essential not just for our careers, but for being able to successfully navigate through life and relationships.

They’re more self-aware.

Individuals with Emotional Abundance are able to accurately self-reflect. They know their personality, their core strengths and weaknesses, as well as environments that will bring out the best in them. They don’t allow their weaknesses to hold them back. Rather than beating themselves up for what they don’t know or struggle to do well, they focus on creating strategies to improve skill sets so they can achieve their goals.

They live with balance.

Because they have a high level of self-awareness, they instinctively know how to cultivate and maintain balance in their lives. Whether at work or in their personal lives, they understand how to take care of themselves well in order to be the best they can be in every area of life. They eat well, get plenty of rest, and foster interests outside of work to establish and enjoy a greater sense of wellbeing.

They’re not perfectionists.

While Emotionally-Abundant individuals are highly motivated and accomplished, they recognize that perfection is impossible. Instead of creating an impossible cycle of unrealistic expectations followed by frustration and shame, they focus their energies on doing their best, maintaining flexibility, and learning from their mistakes.

They’re curious about life.

They’ve learned to cultivate an appreciation for varied and unique experiences. They are curious and passionate, knowing how to explore and learn new concepts and skills. Their curiosity makes them equally open to asking questions as well as to adapting to new solutions. Curious people are delightful people who haven’t lost their innate sense of wonder in a complex world of responsibilities.

They’re empathetic with others.

An essential quality of EA, individuals are well-skilled in their ability to relate to others. They can listen, understand, and be empathetic with others thoughts, feelings, and experiences, which allows them to reduce miscommunication and conflict both in the workplace and in personal relationships.

They’re growth-oriented.

They aren’t afraid of change. Because they are open to learning new things, they embrace growth as a necessary and important part of life. They are eager to accept challenges and usually adapt well even under difficult circumstances. In seeing the bigger picture, they can mobilize internal strategies to adjust and energize around new problems and circumstances.

They’re grateful.

Living with gratitude has an enormous impact on our level of Emotional Abundance. People who have a grateful disposition look for things big and small for which they can be thankful. They are generally satisfied with life and rarely allow negative feedback or people to influence their lives or their decisions.

They bring out the best in others.

Because they are at peace with themselves, people with EA are able to see coworkers and friends not as threats, but as assets. They do not feel the need to be defensive with others, but instead create a safe environment in which others can thrive. They love to see others reach their potential and are motivated by cooperation rather than competition.

How many of these qualities are you able to identify? Do some seem to come naturally while others seem overwhelming?

The best news about Emotional Abundance is that it can be cultivated and nurtured throughout our lives. Where we are today does not have to determine our future.

The more we grow Emotional Abundance in our lives, the more stable, positive, and productive our lives become, and the less chaotic, reactive, and hopeless our relationships feel. This is the single greatest area we could invest in for ourselves, our children, and our futures so that we can achieve our best life.

If you haven't joined our community on Facebook, I would LOVE to have you be a part of our little online family!

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

The Journey To Becoming His Beloved

I'm so blessed to be sharing today at

(in)courage.me !

I was always an anxious kid. I cried at my first piano recital and begged not to play. I finally relented and played anyway. I was permanently attached to my mom’s leg whether we were at church, at school, or even the grocery store.

There was no end to what I was afraid of. I was afraid of the monsters in the closet, afraid of my teachers, afraid of the popular kids in school. I was afraid of myself, of being rejected, of being ridiculed, of not being enough. And as I realized much later, I was also afraid of God... 

I'd love to have you stop by and read more of my story. If you are encouraged, I'd love for you to share!

Read More

Sign up here to receive free daily encouragement from the writers of (in)courage, sent right to your inbox!  

Blessings, friends!

Lisa

Four Key Elements To Discovering Your Purpose

And how to make the days ahead the most meaningful ever 

Delores had always been a vibrant, passionate woman. She had been active in her church, taught Bible studies for more years than she could remember, and routinely invested herself in the lives of the women she taught.

Sitting with her, her eyes welled up with tears. She seemed lost.

Ever since she retired and relocated to be near her children, she hadn’t been able to find a church community in which to invest herself. Every church already had their programs, their teachers. Her children and their families were busy with their lives and she struggled to nurture the kind of relationships she had always dreamed of with her grandchildren.

Her husband was now passed and this woman who had lived with such strength, passion, and purpose, now struggled to make sense of her life. She ached to have a place to plant herself. Her spirit was parched for soil in which she would thrive. Lonely, she began to sink into depression. Was this it?, she wondered. Was there a purpose at all to her life? 

Katie is in her late 20’s. Though she has a job, she longs to find her purpose in life – God’s unique calling to which she can dedicate her life. She searches to find her purpose every day in her career and her relationships, yet ends up feeling more confused and farther from her pursuit than ever.

Without a compass to give stability, direction, and meaning, she remains locked in a cycle of emptiness and wandering. Some days life feels overwhelming, almost unbearable.

Most of us can recall similar feelings at some point in our lives—the emptiness, the yearning, the confusion, the lacking, and the depression. They all merge together, and they always seem to present themselves in the dimmest moments of twilight.

We all need purpose. 

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian existential psychologist, created a school of thought called logotherapy. Frankl believed that our dominant driving force is to find meaning in life.

In the 1940s, Frankl was held prisoner in Nazi concentration camps. He felt the horror of losing everything only to be tortured and terrorized. With all the agony and brutality, what kept Frankl from giving up his relentless fight for his life?

Purpose. He was able to find meaning in his struggle, and that’s what gave him the power to push forward through unimaginable pain.

After escaping the concentration camps, Frankl published a book called Man’s Search for Meaning, which explores his experiences and includes an overview of logotherapy. A quote by Nietzsche nicely sums up his philosophy on how people were able to survive the camps, without losing the will to live:

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

[clickToTweet tweet="'He who has a 'why' to live for can bear almost any 'how'.' Viktor Frankl" quote="'He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.' Viktor Frankl"]

That is the power of purpose. We can find meaning and purpose in our relationships, we can find it in our values and beliefs. We can find purpose in our relationship with God, and we can explore our God-given passions to cultivate potential purposes for our lives.

In my book, Peace For A Lifetime, I explore three things that must align for you to discover your purpose: identity, beliefs and values, and passions. However, there’s one vital piece to the purpose puzzle that’s missing.

God’s purpose will always be connected with giving, not getting.

We tend to look for something external that will provide direction or purpose, that will fill the void inside. It’s counter-intuitive, but our search for purpose will emerge from what we are giving of ourselves to others.

Viktor Frankl describes,

Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.

Do you want to be loved? Love someone. Would you like more joy in your life? Give joy to people. Sounds so simple, right? The more we learn to serve others, the more fulfilled and satisfied we become.

[clickToTweet tweet="Do you want to be loved? Love someone. Would you like more joy in your life? Give joy to people." quote="Do you want to be loved? Love someone. Would you like more joy in your life? Give joy to people."]

God’s purpose will always align with how He has made us.

As we define our identity (our core strengths and weaknesses) and our most deeply held beliefs and values, our curiosities used in service to others will explode into a relentless passion that emerges into a vibrant dynamic purpose.

1. Know your identity – write down a list of strengths and weaknesses.
2. Define your beliefs and values – write down your beliefs about life, faith, relationships, work.
3. Explore your passions – write down a list of things that interest you or make you curious.
4. How can you use the above three to serve a cause, a person, a community, or an organization other than yourself?

Once you identify these things, you will have a map to begin discovering your purpose. It may not include fame, it may not have a giant salary attached to it; it may be different than you had ever dreamed. Yet finding and engaging the purpose for which you were created will provide the greatest meaning and satisfaction you can imagine.

Do you enjoy talking with people? Where can you begin volunteering to talk or read with people who perhaps are lonely and would love a good conversation?

Do you enjoy cooking? How can you identify individuals, families, or organizations within your community for whom you can begin cooking meals?

Are you gifted at teaching, writing, organizing, helping? There is no right or wrong. Get creative and try out several things.

Your purpose today may look different than it did twenty years ago. God is always growing us to develop new passions and purposes for every season of our lives.

Explore the things you love today and begin to look for ways you can use your gift to bless someone. In the end, you will be giving yourself the biggest blessing of all. You will be living your life on purpose with purpose.

How have you struggled to find your purpose in life? What is God showing you about Himself and about you along your journey? 

I’d love to hear!

If you haven't joined our community on Facebook, I would LOVE to have you be a part of our little online family!

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

---

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

---

 [yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

What To Do When Bad Things Happen and We’re Rocked To The Core

We’ve all experienced tragedies beyond our control that seemingly come from nowhere. They devastate us, they rock us to the core, they leave us feeling too overwhelmed and disoriented to muster the courage to get up and face this big, chaotic world for another day. Sometimes it seems it would be easier just to stay in bed and pull the covers up high so we can pretend that nothing at all has happened. Perhaps this was just a bad dream after all.

It seems the magnitude and frequency of tragedies in society today challenges our deepest emotional and spiritual fortitude. Are we safe? we wonder. Will it ever end? How do we make sense of all this anguish and terror? What do we do to keep moving forward?

These questions reverberate in our souls. We can ignore them, we can push them into the shadowy corners of our minds, but when another tragedy happens, when another life is senselessly lost, they reappear and force us to face this harsh reality once again.

Whether it is a national tragedy, whether it is a tragedy in our communities or in our homes, the reality is that bad things will happen. They are an inevitable part of life this side of heaven. I’ve found four things we can do when we are faced with tragedy so we can move forward productively in our lives, no matter the circumstance.

Recognize the need to feel your emotions.

Though we may not have been directly affected, sometimes we experience significant emotions in response to tragedies around us. We are tempted to run, to distract ourselves, to minimize the importance of what we are feeling. We dismiss. Sometimes we shame. Sometimes all we feel is the numbness of the shock.

Because Ecclesiastes 3:4 (NIV) tells us that , There is a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance, we know that it is important to allow ourselves to connect with and feel our emotions. We cannot heal if we cannot feel. It is a requirement for us to deal with all of the tragedies in life, to grieve them, and be able to move forward from them so we can rebuild our lives as well as our sense of direction and purpose. We must grieve each and every loss. We need to grieve.

[clickToTweet tweet="We must grieve each and every loss. We need to grieve." quote="We must grieve each and every loss. We need to grieve."]

Learn to talk ourselves off of the ledge.

Extreme thoughts bounce around in the confines of our minds. They are relentless. They tell us that we are next, that there is nowhere safe, that this would have never happened if…. These thoughts are normal in the context of our grieving, yet it is vital to recognize our deepest heart-fears and learn to talk ourselves through them to a better place.

2 Corinthians 10:5b says that, we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Not every thought that flows through our minds is true, not every thought is rational, good, or balanced. We must learn how to balance our thoughts, how to soothe our fears. We must become practiced at maintaining a hopeful, truthful dialogue with ourselves. Doing so will prepare us to live life to its fullest and be as grounded as possible for whatever challenges will come.

Choose to cultivate meaning and purpose in our lives.

Viktor Frankl once described how Holocaust survivors were able to endure their horrific suffering because they were able to find meaning and purpose for their lives and their suffering. Their faith gave them a greater foundation for deeper understanding and human compassion.

We can never prevent evil men from committing evil acts. In the midst of our sorrow, we can choose to allow these situations to transform our faith and take us into deeper communion with God. We can glean every measure of meaning possible from these horrific, violent experiences and honor the beautiful lives lost with the gift of remembering them, their stories, their accomplishments and their humanity. We can bind ourselves together and corporately purge the evil residue of hatred and sorrow to create a greater vision and purpose. 

Release to God what we cannot control.

Tragedies serve as a reminder that so much in life is beyond our control. As advanced as our technologies have become, as sophisticated as modern systems of reasoning and understanding have brought us, in the end, there is nothing that can entirely protect us or prevent future tragedies from happening.

We will drive ourselves to despair trying to control that which is helplessly out of our control. Part of being able to move past our grief and rebuild our lives lies in releasing to God the things we cannot clutch, force, or mend. The more we are able to exhale and surrender our fear, the more we will be able to heal what has been torn into a thousand pieces and begin to reclaim our future the best way we know how. Surrender allows us to move further towards acceptance as we gather together the pieces of sorrow and joy, and begin to once again take steps forward towards life. Life will come again. Though it will never look quite the same, in time life will come.

[clickToTweet tweet="Life will come again. Though it will never look quite the same, in time life will come." quote="Life will come again. Though it will never look quite the same, in time life will come."]

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

 [yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

When You’re Ready To Run, But God’s Called You To Rest

Lately I feel like I’ve been running at full speed for, well it seems like forever, and I just hit a brick wall. 

Do you ever have those times? Times when you’ve finished a project or season God called you to, and just in the moment when you are ready to dive headlong into the next mission, when you can feel the adrenaline pumping full-force through your veins, He calls you to rest.

Rest in those moments feels nothing like rest. It feels like it felt as a child when I was relegated to my room for an interminable period of quiet, as a time-out from everything I was really wanting to do. Forced seclusion.

What does a body do with four walls and a mind that won’t stop thinking, looking for the next need, the next mission as if the world will come unhinged if something gets overlooked or worse yet, undone?

So here’s where I am. I have to admit my soul is stirring, there’s a lot of heart work to do out there. My calling, my passion is to walk with people on their journeys. I can see the heartache. I can feel the overwhelmed, anxious helplessness as if it is stirring through my veins. And yet the word I hear God whispering today is…rest.

Rest? How can I rest when there is so much to be done?

And then I heard Him whisper to my heart,

Rest, because I need you to rest. To find rest. To find Me. To just be with Me. You are right, my child, there’s a whole big world out there that’s desperate for more than you can give. It’s okay. I see them, too. I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t overlooked.

Trust that I am big enough to notice all of the discouragement, to see every soul who despairs. I see the broken, the exhausted, the battle-weary, the cynical, the eyes filled with anger for all of the injustice. I see the oceans full of disappointed dreams and calloused, dulled hopes. I see you.

Trust that in your rest I am nurturing something new. Your rest is required. Your rest is the next step on your journey. Not a place of punishment, not a time-out, but a carefully designed respite with Me, to simply be with you and enjoy you. To celebrate, to laugh. To share stories in the twilight and notice the sunset together. I see you.

Trust that you are enough. Just as you are. You are significant because I formed you in your mother’s womb. You are cherished because I planned you long before the foundation of the universe. You are beautiful and yes, worthy. You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a worker, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. I see you.

[clickToTweet tweet="You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. " quote="You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a worker, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. I see you."]

So wherever you are today, whatever season of silence you are wading through, whatever hopes and dreams hang in the balance… rest. Trust that God notices you on your knees crying out to Him in the sleepless nights. Trust that He’s well-acquainted with your most tender, swollen wounds. Trust that He sees you right where you are, just as you are. You are precious to Him. He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself.

[clickToTweet tweet="He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself." quote="He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself."]

I can’t think of anything else I need more today.

How is God calling you to Himself today? What is one thing you can do today to find rest?

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

---

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

---

 [yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

Six Myths About Being a Good Mom

And the truths that can empower our parenting 

The pressure is real. The ads say it, social media screams it. Moms have to be perfect. We need to have it all figured out — how to be playful and fun, structured and planned, how to know what every cough, sneeze, cry, or whimper means.

Ideally, we’d be a little Dr. Phil, a whole lot Martha Stewart. We’d be as smart as Megyn Kelly, cook like Rachel Ray and have Ellen’s sense of humor. Everywhere moms today struggle against the many pressures that gnaw at us, that control us, that tell us we are not enough and that we better try harder, stay up longer, and make it happen.

Psychologist Diane Sanford, PhD, health expert for the American Psychological Association noted in an article for Today Parenting, “Women tend to compare and measure themselves against unrealistic images and then feel they fall short.” Somewhere along the way we have created an ideal and largely unrealistic vision of what motherhood entails, good motherhood that is. We’ve created a myth. We’ve believed a lie. And the lies are controlling us, exhausting us, and destroying us.

Here are a few myths about being a mom we need to recognize and the truths we need to set us free to begin celebrating our role as a mom and enjoying our children in these precious years.

Myth #1. We must do everything for our kids if we are going to be a good mom.

We race around deliriously believing that the sign of our exhaustion is proof of how we measure up as a mom. We will carry ourselves to Target at 10pm, bake cookies into the wee hours of the night, never miss a practice, a rehearsal, or skate party, as if our lives depended on it. We feel guilty if every minute of our day isn’t completely devoted in thought or action to our beloved little ones.

The truth is our kids don’t need us to do everything for them. In fact, they actually benefit from learning to do more for themselves. Good moms recognize their sense of self-worth must come from something other than their identity as a mom. They are able to care for themselves well. They are at peace with the fact they can’t do everything and simply focus on enjoying the activities and tasks they can do.

Myth #2. If we can be the perfect parent, we can raise perfect children.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent and there is no such thing as perfect children. The truth is no matter how hard you try, you are going to impact your children in ways you don’t necessarily want or intend. Though this has never been any different, modern motherhood has made the pursuit of perfection or near perfection a consuming goal.

The thinking is if we are perfect for our children, we can guarantee their future, and at the same time counteract the wounds from our childhood. We are all on our own journeys. It’s not your job to be perfect, nor will striving for this goal benefit your children. It is your job to be you, to heal your wounds, to live your life in the most fulfilling way possible. This version of you is what your children need most. God has to be the God of our children, not us.

Myth #3. We must give our kids everything if we are to be a good mom.

In reality, “more” is making moms and their children miserable. Between activities, possessions and commitments, we’re being suffocated by the very things we hope will enrich us, fill us, or give us the momentary happiness for which we long.

The truth is, we’re all driven towards abundance, but what we’re looking for today is the wrong kind of abundance. External things were never meant to fill us, or give us the satisfaction we desire. Until we learn to look to God and ourselves for our inner abundance, we will continue to accumulate indiscriminately. Instead, give your kids yourself. Spend time with them instead of buying them. Teach them to dream, to love God, to enjoy the people in their lives, to serve others, and to find meaning in the present moment. These are the most precious gifts we can give our children.

Myth #4. Asking for help is a sign of weakness. 

We live with the internal motto that we can do everything. We don’t like to ask for help. We fear that asking would mean we were weak, perhaps incompetent. We tell ourselves, Everyone else seems to manage everything alone, I should, too.

The truth is, though more virtually connected than ever, mothers have never been so isolated in the rearing of children. We aren’t meant to raise children alone. We can ask for help from our friends, our neighbors, our family members. We can seek wisdom from other moms who have walked the road before. We can even reach out to professionals to help when our best efforts are running short and we don’t know where to turn.

Myth #5. We should be enjoying every moment.

Somehow we wake up every morning believing that every breakfast, every diaper change, every minute of our time with our children should be both enjoyable and meaningful. If it isn’t, we must be doing something wrong.

The truth is, parenting is a wonderful, beautiful, miraculous experience unlike any other on earth. But not every moment is going to be wonderful, beautiful, or exciting. It just isn’t. It’s not supposed to be. Life is about finding meaning in the mundane, about living thoughtfully and authentically each moment and trusting that this is enough. Mothering is a sacred calling, though every experience is not intended to be. Free yourself to be present in whatever moment you are in and trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. It is enough. You are enough. God is enough.

[clickToTweet tweet="Free yourself to be present in whatever moment you are in and trust that it is enough. You are enough. God is enough." quote="Free yourself to be present in whatever moment you are in and trust that it is enough. You are enough. God is enough."]

Myth #6. If we parent right, our kids will love us.

Perhaps…when they are 25 years old. Most kids will be kids. They will love us, they will hate us, they will feel many things about us throughout their young lives. Our children were never placed on this earth to complete us, love us, or make us feel good about ourselves. That is not their responsibility. If we are parenting only to receive their affection or approval, we will not be effective parents.

[clickToTweet tweet="Our children were never placed on this earth to complete us, love us, or make us feel good about ourselves." quote="Our children were never placed on this earth to complete us, love us, or make us feel good about ourselves."]

The truth is if you are parenting effectively you will get a mixture of emotional responses from your children. Your parenting decisions should never be based on your emotional needs. The best parenting decisions are made in the context of what your children need to learn, how they need to grow, and what will provide the best tools for them have the healthiest, most meaningful lives as adults.

We need to stop living on the treadmill of comparison, insecurity, disappointment, and guilt. God gave your children you to be their mom, because they needed you, with all your flaws, all your insecurities, all your quirks and hang-ups. Be the best “you” you can be. Pray for wisdom in each decision. Trust your intuition in each situation. Leave the rest to God. He is in control anyway.

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

 [yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

How Technology Could Be Hurting Your Wellbeing

Tips for maximizing technology while minimizing the pain - literally!

In the months leading up to the launch of my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I was doing more writing and computer work than normal. The process of platform building and marketing can be both demanding and time-consuming.

Several weeks ago I started noticing my shoulder aching. My entire left arm began to tingle through my elbow all the way down to my fingers.

I didn’t think much of it. I am not ill often. I simply kept pressing on in spite of the pain. Unfortunately it didn’t get any better. In fact, it only grew worse finally sending me to the chiropractor.

After initial x-rays and examination, I was told that my neck, which should be curved, is actually straight. Three discs in my neck were mostly immobile. Not a good diagnosis, as the chiropractor described.

What I didn’t know is that throughout our entire lives, our body uses these curves as shock absorbers. The curves help us to balance and move. When viewed from the side, the body should have three distinct curves – one in the neck, one in the mid back and one in the lower back.

The curve in the neck is considered the most important, and has been referred to as the arc of life. This is a term coined by a neurosurgeon due to the importance of the cervical curve and the structure it protects – your nervous system.

It turns out that my blogging and social media habits have placed my neck in a downward position, which has contributed to my considerable neck pain. I am not alone. “It is an epidemic or, at least, it’s very common,” Hansraj, chief of spine surgery at New York Spine Surgery and Rehabilitation Medicine, told The Washington Post. “Just look around you, everyone has their heads down.”

Research has shown multiple severe health-issues related to the loss of the cervical curvature. Multiple studies have shown that a loss of this curve reduces lung capacity by up to 30%; decreased lung capacity has been linked to COPD, heart disease and cancer.  

Abnormal posture can cause organ disease, muscle tension, increased sensitivity to pain and weakened immune system. Loss of cervical curve can also result in loss of balance, dizziness, overall poor health, headaches, pain, numbness, weaknesses and decreased quality of life.  It can also inhibit the release of endorphins, which can have a negative impact on our moods and sense of happiness and wellbeing.  

Scientists suggest the major factor in the rise of “text-neck,” as they have named it, is the enormous increase in technology usage throughout the day. Smartphone users spend an average of two to four hours per day hunched over, reading e-mails, sending texts or checking social media sites. That’s 700 to 1,400 hours per year people are putting stress on their spines, according to the research.

According to The Wireless Association, texting statistics have increased astronomically.  In June 2006 in the USA, there were 12.5 billion texts sent monthly.  By June 2011, that number grew to 196.9 billion.  Clearly, this problem isn’t going anywhere. Who knew?

Since our physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing are so intricately connected, it is vital that we are aware of and care for our physical health. If you use your computer often or are on your electronic devices, here are some practical tips to avoid “text-neck” and help keep your wellbeing in tip-top shape.

• Get the app - Florida chiropractor, Dr. Dean Fishman actually created a “Text Neck” app for the Android, which offers “immediate real time feedback” about whether your standing in the correct posture, indicated by a green or red light. There’s also an optional vibration or beep reminder, when you lapse into bad habits. Best of all, according to the doctor, it actually tracks and scores your slouching/standing patterns.

• Raise the phone - Move your cell phone (and other devices) to eye level so your head doesn’t have to be tilted.

• Take frequent breaks - Spend some time away from the phone—or any type of head-forward posture. Remember to change positions when texting—lying on one's back is an excellent way to relieve pressure on the neck.

• Stand up straight - Good posture, with the shoulders pulled back, keeps the body aligned in a neutral position.

• Arch and stretch - Arch the neck and upper back backward periodically to ease muscle pain.

• Stay fit - A strong, flexible back and neck are better able to handle extra stress.

We are only given one body. I know we will all increasingly use technology as a means of connecting with and engaging the world around us. Yet if we can become aware of and implement a few things to help our bodies, we will in fact be helping our souls. We will be building a strong physical foundation that will empower us to live abundantly —physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We can all cultivate more balance in our lives, which is essential if we are going to achieve our goals or experience the abundant life we desire. Physical wellbeing is one piece of the puzzle that will help you on your journey towards peace.

[clickToTweet tweet="Physical wellbeing is one piece of the puzzle that will help you on your journey towards peace." quote="Physical wellbeing is one piece of the puzzle that will help you on your journey towards peace."]

References:

• Lee S, Kang H, Shin G. Head flexion angle while using a smartphone. Ergonomics. 2015;58(2):220-226.

       •  Hansraj KK. Assessment of Stresses in the Cervical Spine Caused by Posture and Position of the Head.                Surgical Technology International. 2014;11(25):277-9.

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

Lisa is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. Her online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, Lisa is just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. She has fallen passionately in love with the journey and believes it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While she grew up in the Florida sunshine, she and her husband now live just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In her new book, Peace for a Lifetime, Lisa Murray shares the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lisa discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through Lisa and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Join our community on Facebook: Lisa Murray!

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

Done

Four Ways We Need To Change Our Perspective On Our Problems 

Have you ever felt slimed by an email? I mean, have you ever gotten an email that oozes with shame, judgment, and anger – all ‘in the name of Jesus?’ Ever felt the sting of someone else’s defenses because you wouldn’t tell them what they wanted to hear, abandon your boundaries, or share in their drama?

It began with an email I received from an acquaintance who had gotten caught up in a series of poor choices, followed by some fairly unpleasant consequences. They were angry that I wouldn’t let them off the hook. They expected me to give in. They demanded I show them grace.

Didn’t they know the difficult road I have walked to conquer my fears, heal my wounds, and develop the ability to even have a boundary, much less enforce one?

I do understand. We all at some point want, perhaps even expect someone else to let us off the hook from honoring our word or our responsibilities. I have been there. Even this week as I realized how over-scheduled I was, I wanted to bail on something, anything, that would give me a little more downtime, a little more breathing room. I recognized that I had not done a good job at drawing boundaries and I was left to pay the price. I was over-leveraged and severely under-nurtured. I wanted to be let out of honoring my word.  I wanted someone else to solve my problem.

We grow myopic in our perspective, we believe our situation is ‘special,’ and we are all left battered and bruised by the disappointed expectations we have from just about everyone in our lives. When is our word our word? When do we shine Christ by allowing those in our world to see that we honor our commitments, we follow-through, we are trustworthy?

We honor our commitments, even when it is difficult, expensive, or inconvenient. Michael Hyatt

Our faith and our character grow as we look to God to rescue us in our mess, not look to others to rescue us from our mess. God does allow others to be a part of our healing story, yet God should be at the center of our healing story. Grace is never demanded, only freely given, when God prompts.

[clickToTweet tweet="We should look to God to #rescue us in our mess, not look to others to rescue us from our mess." quote="We should look to God to rescue us in our mess, not look to others to rescue us from our mess."]

[clickToTweet tweet="Others can be a part of our #healing story, yet #God should be at the center of our healing story. " quote="Others can be a part of our healing story, yet God should be at the center of our healing story. "]

Instead we think to ourselves…

Surely, she’ll understand…

But my situation is different…

If she was more Christ-like, she would…

These are lies, all lies we tell ourselves to keep us believing that we are the victims and that other people are ruthless tyrants, holding us back or keeping us down. In truth, we are not victims, as I’ve come to recognize on my own broken, uneven journey.

No one is responsible for our poor choices but us. No one is evil or selfish for maintaining their boundaries. Really.

We are destroying the power of our testimony at the hands of our selfishness. We are clamoring, scurrying, demanding our agenda be served, our need be honored, and in the process we’re losing our strength, our relationships, and our witness. Scripture describes this in both the Old and New Testaments, powerfully saying,

If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. Numbers 30:2, ESV

But whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him. 1 John 2:5, ESV

What you gain from not honoring your word in the short-term is miniscule compared with what you will lose in your character and reputation. A house divided against itself cannot stand.   When we lose sight of the larger picture, the incongruity of our words and actions will destroy our foundation as well as any kingdom work we might undertake. Here are some other options we can all consider whenever we feel backed into a corner:

Look within to find the answers to our problems.

We need to memorize the words in Psalm 46:1 that say, God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Someone else cannot be the answer to our problems. Only God can be our refuge, our covering, our strength. Only He can hold us and sustain us, giving us understanding, wisdom and direction in the midst of our circumstances. We diminish God’s power and our own resilience when we depend solely on external means to resolve our problems. God has a miracle for you. It just might not come in the form you expect or perhaps demand.

Spend more energy in learning from our mistakes rather than trying to get out of them.

Sometimes we make choices born of emotion, impulsive reactions, honest means. When these choices bring untimely or unfortunate consequences, God allows the consequences as a natural expression of His love. He often uses the circumstances in our lives to teach us, to impart wisdom, and to mature us for our future steps in life.  He has called each of us for a purpose. He needs to grow us and prepare us for whatever lies ahead.  The only tragic mistake is the wasted mistake.

[clickToTweet tweet="The only tragic mistake is the wasted mistake. #PeaceforaLifetime" quote="The only tragic mistake is the wasted mistake."]

Look outside of our perspective to see someone else’s perspective.

Because someone is not able to give us what we want doesn’t mean they are wrong, unloving, or un-Christlike. There is another side, another perspective. We all are naturally attuned to our unique viewpoint, yet we limit our growth when we fail to acknowledge or understand another person’s perspective or boundaries. Look beyond your thoughts, feelings, wants and needs, to show respect and consideration for the thoughts, feelings, wants and needs of someone else.

Show respect for other’s boundaries.

Yes, other people have boundaries, too. Boundaries are not just meant to keep us safe, they are meant to help others take care of themselves as well. Being a Christian does not mean being a doormat. Being a Christian means that we listen to the Holy Spirit inside of us and learn to honor His leading.   It means we learn to develop and enforce healthy boundaries for ourselves in order to more wisely and powerfully invest ourselves in the work to which God has called us. It means we are sensitive to knowing the situations where He wants us to participate, as well as situations where He has not called us to participate.

In my new book Peace For A Lifetime, I share more about the skills we need to cultivate a life of abundance and peace. Life doesn’t simply happen to us. We can develop new ways of living, not just for ourselves, but for the future of our children and our families.

If you’d like to learn more about the book, click here.

As we do these things – look within, learn from our mistakes, see another point of view, and show respect for other’s boundaries – we will be shining a great light of God’s glory, His love, His power from the testimony of His provision and handiwork in our lives. We will be living as the body was intended to live. We will be bearing much fruit. We will be living lives of abundance. We will experience indestructible peace.

Have you ever felt the sting of someone else’s defenses? Ever been battered because of your boundaries?

I’d love to hear your comments.

---

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My hope is to provide a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I now live just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN with my husband and Shih-tzu, Sophie.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I have discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

I’d love to connect on Facebook: Lisa Murray, author

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

Blessings, 

Lisa

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

When You Feel Like God Has Forgotten The Desires Of Your Heart

Sometimes maybe dreams don’t come true. 

I held tightly to Psalm 37:4b (NIV) that He will give you the desires of your heart. I had memorized that verse as a little girl and recited it faithfully as I dreamed of what my life would be.

Month after month I prayed, I waited. To be honest I spent much of my time begging and pleading with God. The dream of having a child was not an easy one to get past. Strollers, babies, blankets, loom around every corner. They are usually joyful experiences, witnessing the miracle of new life. Yet these were not joyful experiences for me. Each was a reminder of the dream. The vacancy in my heart that had never been filled.

How do I fill this? I wondered. How do you get past this most primal, basic human drive, a dream that you have carried with you since you were a little girl?

I didn’t know. I endured, carrying this pain with me wherever I went. Some moments were filled with a deep and wearying sorrow. Some moments, anger. There were people who didn’t understand. How could you feel the loss of something you never had? they questioned.

But I could. I did.

I could never get past God’s words to me. I believed Him when He said that He would give me the desires of my heart.

I didn’t know how. I didn’t know when.

I understood Sarah’s laughter at God’s promise to her (Genesis 18) as she could feel her body aging, as she faced the window of time slowly closing in around her. I laughed, too.

In time I relented to the grief I had for so long held at bay. I gave in to the waves of pain that engulfed me. Silently, loudly, deeply, desperately – I grieved.

In the midst of my grief I somehow wondered if God’s words were true. I questioned whether He saw me right in the midst of my brokenness. Whether He had a miracle for me, like He did for Sarah.

As I healed, I began to discover that God’s miracles were all around me. His provision had been there all along. I began see my stepchildren as God’s gift for me to love, to invest myself. I saw my nephews and nieces as His blessing of little miracles and joys in my life. As a professional therapist, I see each and every client I have the honor to work with as my children. I love them. I delight in them. I get to pour out God’s love to them and walk with them as they build their lives, as they heal, as they grow.

My healing grew as God cemented in me my identity as His beloved. As He showed me my value and worth. My healing birthed in me new passions and purposes. My healing allowed me to discover and build a life full of hope, full of wholeness, full of abundance. Above all, full of peace.

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I not only share bits of my journey toward peace, but I also share other individual’s stories of how to cultivate a life of healing and wholeness in whatever circumstances life brings.

If you have ever experienced the loss of a dream, God has not forgotten or abandoned you. He loves you. He is with you right in the middle of your circumstances. He has a miracle for you. He had one for me.

[clickToTweet tweet="He loves you. He is with you right in the middle of your circumstances. He has a miracle for you!" quote="He loves you. He is with you right in the middle of your circumstances. He has a miracle for you. "]

No, God didn’t give me a baby. Yet He has been faithful. He has fulfilled every desire of my heart. He will fulfill the desires of your heart, too.

I have many children. My heart is full. Abundant.

Whatever you dream is, with God dreams really do come true!

What are the desires of your heart that have not yet been fulfilled?  Leave your comment below.  I'd love to hear your journey!

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My desire is to provide a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I now live just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN with my husband and 16yr old Shih-tzu, Sophie.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com

I'd love to have you join the Peace for a Lifetime community on Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

Three Ways To Maximize Peace In Your Relationships

How to stop enabling and start loving well 

A friend posted a quote on Facebook the other day. It said, We must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please. @lysaterkerust

How true, I thought instantly.

We struggle to know how to love, when to love, where to love. We grapple to acknowledge when our love isn’t loving, when it is nothing short of enabling.

We all have those relationships. We each have people in our lives who somehow expand their level of taking while never getting around to giving, who always seem to be in a crisis, and who never want to listen to advice.

The cajole us. They blame us. They manipulate us interminably because we are afraid to say no— afraid of the anger, afraid of the disappointment, perhaps we’re afraid of the punishment to come and most certainly, we’re afraid of being rejected.

We desperately want things to be different. We had so many hopes and dreams for what our lives with family and friends would look like. We never envisioned this.

Enabling has become such a catchphrase in our culture. Though in a positive sense enabling can be used to denote empowerment, in a negative sense, according to Wikepedia:

“Enabling can describe dysfunctional behavior approaches that are intended to help resolve a specific problem but in fact may perpetuate or exacerbate the problem. A common theme of enabling in this latter sense is that third parties take responsibility or blame, or make accommodations for a person's harmful conduct (often with the best of intentions, or from fear or insecurity which inhibits action). The practical effect is that the person himself or herself does not have to do so, and is shielded from awareness of the harm it may do, and the need or pressure to change. Enabling in this sense is a major environmental cause of addiction.”

We have become a nation of enablers. As parents, we stand between our children and the consequences of their actions because we feel it defines our love as better, or stronger, for our children. We believe that rescuing is helping. Desperately needing to feel loved ourselves, and having placed our children on the altar of our emotional needs, we are immobilized from saying or doing anything that might threaten their love for us.

As friends and family, we try to be helpful, loving. We always tell ourselves, this will be the last time, knowing full well somewhere in the back quarter of our minds that it won’t be. We tell ourselves, that’s what good parents do for their children, that’s what friends do for each other, that’s what being a good Christian means.

We need them to love us because many of us do not know how to love ourselves. We use their love as a surrogate love that was never meant to fill the hole inside of us, the place where God’s love and our love was meant to fill.

What do we do? How do we determine where we end and another begins? How do we begin to forge healthy boundaries so that we can actually love others, without enabling them?

Assess whether your efforts to help have helped.

Have your acts of love led to any real, consistent behavioral change? Is this the fifth time your child has totaled the family car? Has the money you’ve given a loved one really gotten them out of a crisis and put them back up on the road toward health and stability? Have you ever been repaid?

If what we want is behavioral change, if we want our friends and our children to make better choices, are they? If not, chances are that your love and your help have not been loving or helpful.

The first step towards behavioral change is sincerely owning responsibility for one’s life and having a heart change. Owning responsibility never blames, never rationalizes, and is not angry. Owning responsibility is simply that. It is heartfelt and is followed by repentance. Repentance is defined as, turning from sin and dedicating oneself to the amendment of one's life; to feel regret or contrition; to change one’s mind.

You can always tell when there is heart change. Heart change is always followed by behavioral change. Apologies, rationalizations, blame, threats rarely lead to life change.

Determine what boundaries are needed for you to stop enabling your loved ones.

Do you need to stop rescuing your children? Do you need to stop giving money, room and board, or transportation when it only seems to perpetuate the insanity, and continue the dysfunctional cycle? Do our loved ones need to face the consequences of their choices? Do our friends and family members need to find the answers to their problems themselves instead of looking to you to be the answer to their problems?

What do you need to do or better yet, stop doing, to lovingly allow your loved ones to come face to face with themselves and God in order to determine the path they will pursue on their journeys. Love them. Give them the gift of facing the results of their choices, their hearts, their lives, and having the opportunity to build a life that’s radically different.

Learn the most loving word, “No.”

Whatever emotions surface inside of you as a result of saying “no” are your responsibility. Don’t place them on someone else. Lean in. Listen.

If you’ve never learned how to love yourself and continue the enabling in an effort to find and feel love, even for a fleeting and perhaps, destructive moment, you can begin today. Learn how to experience God’s love for you. Learn how to give the gift of love to yourself. You are beloved. You are worthy. You are enough. It is never someone else’s job to give that to you. It is your job. Open yourself to the love that is waiting for you.

When your friend or loved one asks something of you that you know you should not do, calmly, respectfully say “no.” Free them. Free yourself. Focus on the things you can do. You can pray. Perhaps you can offer suggestions, if they are requested. Freedom allows everyone to determine how they want to engage their lives, how they want to move forward with clarity into their future.

Just because someone has a problem doesn’t mean that it is your problem. Love sees the long-term game and is willing to sacrifice short-term pay-offs to ensure the potential of future success.

• Assess whether your efforts to help have helped.
• Determine what boundaries are needed to stop enabling your loved ones.
• Learn to use the most loving word, “No.”

You will find freedom in your heart and mind. You will find abundance in your relationships. You will find peace.

My new book Peace for a Lifetime speaks to the heart of relationships and teaches us how we can build Emotional Abundance into our lives so our relationships can flourish. If your relationships seem filled with heartache, chaos, and disappointment, if you are lost wondering what to do next, this book will outline simple, practical ways you can cultivate healthy, stable relationships that will maximize the peace in your life.

To order your copy, click here!

What is the relationship that is hardest for you to draw healthy boundaries? Leave your comment below. I’d love us to learn and grow with each other.

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

Just When I Thought I Was About To Go Under

I was helpless to prevent myself from drowning. 

Such was the dilemma in all of my relationships.

I needed my relationships somehow to fill me, to fix me, to feed all of the dry and hungry parts of my soul. I needed their strength. I needed their comfort. I needed their love. Punishing and critical of myself, I was obsessed with winning other’s approval. I felt it impossible to say no to friend’s demands. I could never speak my thoughts and feelings, and I did my very best to avoid any conflict that came my way.

I could feel the undertow. The exhaustion. Pulling me under. I was slowly losing my footing. I was paralyzed by any notion of rejection or ridicule; undone by the faint echo of disappointment in other’s words.

I needed my relationships in all the ways I should have needed God. I trusted the voice of others because I could never trust my own, and I could never quiet the quivering in my mind long enough to hear Him whisper His sweet and tender words, Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matt.11:28, NIV)

I thought of how He called Peter out on the water, how He pulled Him up from the waves and steadied his weak-knee’d, weary heart. (Matthew 14:22-33)

I remembered the woman at the well to whom He spoke words of compassion, of love, and gave her blistered, calloused heart new hope, new life, new rest. (John 4:1-26)

Could He give me rest?

Oh yes, He did give me rest, and He gave me so much more.

On my healing journey, I discovered that God not only wanted me to be healed, but whole. His desire for my life was to find rest and peace. To discover in the deepest bone and marrow within me that He was my rest and peace.

God rescued me from myself. He planted me on dry land and walked with me as I healed both spiritually and emotionally. He helped grow my roots and my identity to be strong and sure. He showed me what abundance looked like in my life and my relationships.

He said, I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly. (John 10:10b, NASB)

Yes, abundantly. Whole. Safe. Sound. Complete. Abounding. Overflowing. Abundantly. That is His desire for you, too!

He didn’t need me to be perfect. He didn’t need me to have it all together. He doesn’t need you to have it all together either.

[clickToTweet tweet="He loves you right in the middle of the chaos and broken places. #PeaceForALifetime " quote="He loves you right in the middle of the chaos and broken places. #PeaceForALifetime "]

My new book, Peace for a Lifetime: Embracing a Life of Hope, Wholeness, and Harmony Through Emotional Abundance, is for anyone who has ever felt hopelessly broken, who has lived life struggling to keep your head above water, who has felt weary, desperate, sinking. I share simple, practical life steps that can help you understand the hope and the life God has for you.

Will you come to Him today?

He’s reaching out His hand. He wants to pull you up and rescue you from drowning. He wants to give you indestructible rest and peace.

Reach out and take His hand, His rest. I did and I never looked back. Just when I thought I was about to go under, I was overwhelmed by His love and it changed my life forever!

To order your copy of 'Peace for a Lifetime' click here!

Has there ever been a time in your life when you thought you were about to go under and Jesus rescued you?  I'd love to have you join the conversation!

Blessings, 

Lisa

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

How I Leverage My Time To Maximize My Peace

I’ve always been intentional with my time. It’s one of the most important tools I have. It impacts nearly everything I do. Well, almost everything.

Like many others, time is always something of which I never seem to have enough. Too many distractions and too many demands make it difficult to accomplish the goals I have set.

Many of our schedules are not condusive to a defined regiment and life today isn’t as neat or tidy as it was growing up.

Today I leverage my time to effectively manage much of my complex personal and professional life, and to maximize my peace.

Here’s a list of a few strategies I use:

• I realistically look at the pockets of time that are not spoken for throughout the day. Sometimes it may be a 30-minute segment of time before work; sometimes, there may be 10 minutes in between meetings.

• I mentally prioritize or write down in my journal the goals that would be most meaningful for me to accomplish. Sometimes deadlines force something to the top of the list, but otherwise I try to focus on what is most meaningful. That allows me to stay connected with my passions and purpose without becoming sidetracked or exhausted.

• I strategize to assign smaller goals to smaller pockets of time and larger goals to larger pockets of time. I know my physical and mental make-up as well. I know the morning is when I am most refreshed and focused to write, so I try to schedule more in-depth creative tasks earlier in the day and easier, more administrative tasks later in the afternoon or evening.

• I focus on the meaning in the moment. As I am engaged in one project, I do my best not to become overwhelmed by everything else I need to do. I spend a few moments deep-breathing to help keep me connected and centered on enjoying whatever the task is at hand. This may sound weird to some, but when I can look for meaning even in the small, mundane tasks, it allows me to be fully present in each moment and to find joy wherever I am. The rest of the day will come, the other tasks will be attended to. I do not want to waste this moment focusing on, overwhelmed by, consumed by another moment. This moment is the only one I’m guaranteed.

• I schedule downtime. Again, depending on the pockets of time that emerge throughout the day, I make sure to assign time for unstructured play. This may mean a few moments of deep-breathing and guided imagery. It may also mean a cup of tea and a good book. Unstructured playtime is just as important as any other task I accomplish throughout the day. It allows my mind to relax and recharge. It grounds and soothes me physically and emotionally.

[clickToTweet tweet="The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule,but to schedule your priorities.-Stephen Covey" quote="“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” Stephen Covey"]

[clickToTweet tweet="“We will either walk well throughout our day, or our day will walk all over us.” @Lisa Murray " quote="“We will either walk well throughout our day, or our day will walk all over us.” Lisa Murray"]

Leveraging my time allows me to accomplish the things to which God has called me, but also frees me to enjoy each moment for the beautiful gift it is in my life.

Question: How do you leverage your time to maximize your peace?

To learn more about my new book, 'Peace for a Lifetime' where I share tools to make the most of our margin as well as how to de-stress and enjoy the greatest meaning in life, click here or visit Amazon to buy the book.  

Blessings, 

Lisa

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

THE $1.99 AMAZON eBOOK DEAL YOU CANNOT MISS

For TWO DAYS ONLY, MARCH 28-29, Amazon is offering the eBook of ‘Peace For A Lifetime’ for $1.99!!!!!

You cannot miss out on this deal!

To Order Your eBook Now Click Here

Have you or a loved one dealt with depression, anxiety? Do you feel your best life is always just beyond your reach? Do problems in relationships seem to follow you?

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, ‘Peace for a Lifetime’ can not only help you find healing from your deepest wounds, it can help you cultivate harmony and abundance in every area of your life AND your relationships.

Wouldn’t that be awesome - to move from emptiness to abundance, from brokenness to wholeness, from chaos to peace?

Here’s what you’ll discover:

• Three things that keep people stuck in a cycle of despair and disappointment in their lives and in their relationships
• Simple steps to build a healthy relationship with your emotions so you can make them work for you instead of against you in your life
• A clear plan to get you investing in yourself in all the right ways so you can maximize your satisfaction, wellbeing, and God-given potential
• Strategies for learning how to resolve conflicts and establish healthy boundaries in your relationships
• Templates to begin growing your emotional vocabulary to that you can communicate more effectively with everyone in your life

So what is holding you back? There is so much to gain in your life by reaching forward. This journey marks a new beginning – your new beginning.

And with a deal like this one, you have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain! Don’t just give ‘Peace For A Lifetime’ as a gift to yourself. Order them for your friends and loved ones. Or order a dozen for your summer small group study. They make a great leadership guide for any company or organization.

[clickToTweet tweet="MARCH 28-29, Amazon is offering the eBook of #PeaceForALifetime for $1.99!!!!! Order HERE! " quote="MARCH 28-29, Amazon is offering the eBook of #PeaceForALifetime for $1.99!!!!! Order HERE!"]

I’d love to hear from you – what area of your life do you struggle the most to create the life you’ve always dreamed? Leave your response in the comments below.

Three Questions That Will Empower Your Peace

How To Stop the Chaos and Embrace the Life You’ve Always Dreamed 

Life just keeps coming at us. With all of the demands and distractions, it can be tough to focus, to find our way, to discover the things that matter most.

Most of us tend to live reacting to whatever crisis is thrown at us. We can’t even envision a life where we get to experience the fullness and abundance we’ve always dreamed. We’ve learned to settle.

There are three questions that I believe hold the keys to empowering your peace.

1. Are you living the life you’ve always dreamed?

What are your hopes and dreams? What does your ideal life look like? Have you buried your dreams in a faraway place because they seem too unrealistic or just too painful to resurrect?

God gave each of us dreams. He wants to give us a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) We will never get anywhere if we are not heading somewhere. I’m not channeling my inner Anthony Robbins, but what I am asking is where are the areas that you’ve given up, settled in, stopped living?

[clickToTweet tweet="We will never get anywhere if we are not heading somewhere. #PeaceforaLifetime" quote="We will never get anywhere if we are not heading somewhere."]

Perhaps some of those areas or dreams are places God wants to bring healing, passion, and purpose to your life. Perhaps He wants to give you more of your dreams than you ever imagined. We will never live our dreams if we have stopped dreaming them.

[clickToTweet tweet="We will never live our dreams if we have stopped dreaming them. #PeaceforaLifetime" quote="We will never live our dreams if we have stopped dreaming them."]

2.  What steps are you taking to build the life you want?

Many of us started out young and idealistic, ready to change the world. But as life wielded its gravitational pull on our hopes and dreams, we gave up and settled in.

Our dreams for our life don’t have to be big. You may have always dreamed of learning how to garden or paint. You may have the dream of becoming a writer, or a Bible Study leader. You may have always wanted to return to school, or build a business. What steps are you taking to achieve your dreams and create the life you want?

Our dreams are rarely accomplished in one step or one moment. Don’t give up on your dreams. Begin to take small steps toward them. It is all of the small accumulated steps that ultimately lead to big changes in our hearts, our lives, and our relationships.

3.  What prevents you from taking steps forward toward your dreams?

There will always be obstacles to our dreams. Insecurities, past hurts, challenges to our time and resources can interrupt or stall even the best laid plans. Yet it is more about what we do with the obstacles than whether or not we will experience obstacles in our lives that will ultimately determine the outcome.

God wants us to learn how to face the obstacles in our paths, to lean into them in order to grow our faith in Him, develop our own inner resources, and along the way discover the path to our greatest hopes and dreams.

When we’re empty, overwhelmed, and distracted, we tend to drift along, reacting to every situation life throws at us.  Some of us try to control every detail of life, but both ways of dealing will leave us exhausted and stuck.

My new book, Peace For A Lifetime, presents a powerful and proven alternative that will empower you to remove the obstacles, heal the wounds, and develop the tools to live your dreams.

Click Here To Learn More About The Book

You’ll learn:

• How to recalibrate your relationship with emotions to get them to work for you in your life

• The reasons you may feel “off,” stuck, or hopeless to move beyond your present circumstances or past pain

• How to discover your authentic core self so that you can grow the investments you make into yourself and your future

• Specific tools to maximize your relationship success

• Powerful applications that will help give you the courage, the clarity, and vision to begin taking steps forward on your journey.

Peace For A Lifetime is available through Amazon and Barnes & Noble Online.

You can begin to reclaim the hope, wholeness, and harmony God desires for your life. You can begin today to build the life of your dreams.

Click Here To Order

What would happen in your life if you were able to remove the obstacles and live your dreams? Leave your comment below.

Blessings,

Lisa

You can also JOIN OUR SOCIAL MEDIA CONTEST and enter to win a $100 Amazon Giftcard!!! Post a picture of your book cover, use ‪#‎PeaceforaLifetime, and tag @_Lisa_Murray. That's it!! Plus, you can enter as many times as you want before March 25, 2016!!!!

I'm so excited to announce the winners of my new fragrance, PEACE!!

Jamie M.

Rachel G.

Timothy K.

Katherine P.

Monica O.

Please email with your address so we can get your gift to you!!!

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

Embracing Peace In A World of Chaos

How to discover abundance in the midst of the mess 

Everywhere around us the world is raging. Tragedy – chaos – uncertainty- fill the air. We can’t help but feel the weight of the world every time walk out our front door.

We see it in the news, we read about it on social media. We feel helpless that there is anything we can do to fix what is so terribly broken in the world around us.

We are, however, powerful to focus our energy on changing what is looking back at us in the mirror. We are powerful to live our lives with hope, abundance, and peace.

What would the world feel like to have a strong, solid foundation that would withstand the storms and struggles life inevitably brings?

How would life feel different if we had deep roots firmly planted in rich soil that gives our lives clarity, vision, and purpose?

The chaos of life doesn’t change – WE change!

I wrote Peace For A Lifetime as a result of my journey through brokenness. The lessons I learned, the healing and peace I have found apply no matter what your journey or your circumstances.

Trading Emptiness for Abundance

I’ve found three clear reasons Emotional Abundance will help you navigate the storms and find peace in the midst of the messes life can bring.

1. Maximized HOPE! – Without a doubt your hope lies first and foremost in the person of Jesus Christ. He is your foundation spiritually, emotionally, and physically. As you learn to appropriate His hope into the emotional area of your life, you will experience the fullness, the abundance of hope He promises. Emotional Abundance allows you to walk through all the seasons of our lives and deal with them effectively so that you can face them without fear and find peace in the most difficult days.

Jeremiah 29:11(NIV) states, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

2. Complete WHOLENESS! – God wants you to be not only healed, but whole. Emotional Abundance allows you to find healing for your wounds and experience wholeness within your own heart and mind. As you learn to be a good caretaker for your emotions, to create an environment of compassion and truth, you will begin to discover your emotional identity. God doesn’t want his children limping through life, barely surviving. He wants you to thrive. He wants you to discover your unique calling, your passion and purpose so that you can make a difference for His kingdom. As individuals become whole, the entire body of Christ becomes whole.

2 Timothy 1:7 (AMP) tells us that, “God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well- balanced mind and discipline and self-control.”

3. Enduring HARMONY! – You were not meant to live in chaos. Your relationships were never supposed to be a rollercoaster of pain and disappointment. Emotional Abundance fosters peace and strength in your relationships so that you can enjoy them without being dependent on them for your happiness or wellbeing. When you look inside to find peace within yourselves, you don’t need as much from others, nor do you blame them for your unhappiness. Emotional Abundance allows you to deal with disagreements in a way that leaves you and others on the same team and preserves the openness, safety and respect needed for relationships to flourish.

Romans 15:5-6Amplified Bible (AMP) shares, “Now may the God Who gives the power of patient endurance (steadfastness) and Who supplies encouragement, grant you to live in such mutual harmony and such full sympathy with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may [unanimously] with united hearts and one voice, praise and glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah).

Embracing Peace

Our wounds steal from us a life of hope. They steal our identity, our abundance, our relationships. Our wounds ultimately steal our peace.

Life doesn’t have to be this way. This is not the life God has for you.

Peace isn’t just an illusion. Peace isn’t always for someone else. Peace is for you. Every time you have struggled and fallen has brought you to this place. You are ready. Now is the time.

You can learn to:

• heal the wounds that have kept you stuck

• feel, understand, and manage your emotions effectively

• create an environment in which you can thrive

• develop deep, satisfying relationships in your life

Yes, you can take back your power and discover a life of hope, wholeness, and harmony! If you’re ready, Peace For A Lifetime, can help show you the way.

Question: How would your life look different with more hope and wholeness?

Leave your answer below.

Blessings,

Lisa

My New Book ‘Peace For A Lifetime’ is Finally Here!!!!

Get it today and claim $57 in FREE Bonuses as well as get entered to win one of five FREE bottles of my newest fragrance called PEACE, valued at $52.00!!!

I can hardly believe it. My new book Peace For A Lifetime is out today. This launch symbolizes a very important season of my journey.

Several years ago, I began to dream of how I could give the people of my home church a gift. You see, I founded the Counseling Ministry at my church almost ten years ago and coordinate all of the Family Ministry classes. I wanted to give people who were not able to go to counseling years of information I’ve discovered that will help them in their lives and relationships.

This information helped me transform my life both personally and professionally. In fact, as I explain in the book, these concepts guided me through some of the most challenging times of my life. Now I want to get that message out as far as I possibly can.

Click Here to Get Your Copy Today

I’ve been writing and teaching clients about living with Emotional Abundance for years now. So much of what I’ve learned, tested, and proven is in this book. It’s an important part of my life’s message.

The proven principles I lay out in Peace For A Lifetime have already been endorsed by Sheila Walsh, Patsy Clairmont, Dr. Tim Clinton, Constance Rhodes, Joanne Kraft and many more. And I am ready to share it with you.

In Peace For A Lifetime you’ll discover:

• What prevents so many people from experiencing the abundance and peace they desire in their lives and relationships.

• How to apply the fundamental skills of Emotional Abundance into every area of our lives so we can cultivate greater personal well-being and discover a life of enduring peace.

• Personal stories, case studies, and applications for healing the broken places and unconscious wounds we have carried with us from our past.

• A better way to think about the emotional arena of our lives.

• Simple, practical Life Steps that can guide you on your journey toward cultivating peace in every area of your life.

Peace For A Lifetime presents a step-by-step guide to start healing, build an indestructible foundation for your life, and develop the tools that will take you there.

For people that buy in the next two weeks, I'm including some added bonuses to help you take action and see results immediately:

• My Emotional Abundance Quiz to determine your level of Emotional Abundance
• Peace For A Lifetime Emotions Chart that you can use to develop a strategic and effective emotional vocabulary
• Two beautiful scripture printables (I couldn’t resist!)
• My Promises For Peace pdf that has Scripture to help with whatever struggles you are facing

Together these bonuses are worth $57. And they’re FREE if you buy before March 12. You’ll also be entered to win one of five FREE bottles of my newest fragrance, PEACE.

I said at the start that this launch symbolizes an important season of my journey. But it does more than that.  It also opens a new season of my journey and this one involves you.

I’m confident that Peace For A Lifetime is exactly the tool you’re looking for to stop the chaos and brokenness, and get the life you want. Will you join me on this journey?

Click Here to Get Your Copy Today

Question: In what ways have you recently struggled to find

peace in your life? I'd love to hear your comments!

---

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

Here's The Proof Behind The Book

I’ve spent the last fifteen years in my professional career researching the qualities that make individuals better able to effectively navigate their lives, their careers, their relationships. It’s not rocket-science, but most of us have never been shown the map, so to speak! 

Why are some people better able to deal with the stresses of life while others seem to crumble under the demands that life and relationships can bring?

Scientists have actually proven that our emotional intelligence is a greater predictor of success in life than our intellectual intelligence! EQ determines 80% of success in life vs. IQ determining 20%! WOW! Who knew?

All of the money parents spend on their children’s education, sports, etc. is largely wasted if we haven’t taught them these simple, practical life skills that will increase their Emotional Abundance (EA).

EA brings increased stability, satisfaction, as well as overall happiness and wellbeing in life.  EA allows us to navigate our emotions and make clear, wise decisions in our lives, our careers, our finances, and our relationships.

WHO WOULDN’T WANT THIS?

I want to share my discoveries with you. I want you to have access to information that can not only transform your life, but can dramatically influence the future success of your family, your children and their future families.

PRETTY IMPORTANT, HUH?

In a few short days, the information that I’ve learned and share every day with my clients, I will share with you.

• Do you feel stuck in life?
• Do you every wonder if there is more to life than what you are experiencing?
• Do you long to experience hope, wholeness, and harmony in your relationships?
• Do you want your children to be equipped to manage their lives and relationships successfully?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are that you could benefit from the life-changing information found in Peace For A Lifetime.

On Monday, March 7, I’ll be releasing my new book, Peace For A Lifetime. I’ll also be sharing information about some gifts I have for you.

Your healing is right around the corner. Your future is waiting to begin!

Get ready!!

Blessings,

Lisa

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

Real Comments From Real Readers

The Countdown begins-

just a few days until the release of "Peace For A Lifetime"!!!!!

So here we are.  Two days until the March 7 release!  Yet somewhere inside of us there is the question, do I really need this book?  With so many books out there, is this a book I should actually reach out and purchase?  Can I really experience peace for a lifetime?

I decided NOT to give you my opinion - it might be a little biased:-)  

So I sent my book out to a group of bloggers to get their feedback.  Man, has it been overwhelming and exciting!!!  I wanted to share with you just  a few of the comments that have been coming back to me.  Some are personal and I have protected their identities. Others have written reviews for you to check out and see for yourself.  

I can't even begin to describe how much I needed to read this book!! It was absolutely life changing, hands down! I know that I can't always control the circumstances in my life, but it is my choice to decide how I respond to those problems, especially when they involve other people. I will definitely be referring back to this book often!

Anonymous

Hi ladies! I am working on reading through Lisa's book and I am finding myself in tears. God has been working on peeling the layers of my heart and He told me last year that He was going to begin pulling roots. I surrendered to this process. I want to say thank you to Lisa Springer Murray because I believe this book is one more step to pulling out the roots so God can move me more into the abundant life He has called me to.

Anonymous

I am gaining so much from reading Lisa's words. Highlighter, post-its, Bible and Journal in hand; and I love the way it is all leading back to Christ. Awesomeness!:)

Anonymous

Your book is already impacting my life in incredible ways as I have been in an anxiety/peace struggle recently...daily!  Thank you!

Anonymous

My view to this point is that Lisa, you have nailed a healthy view of emotional health in a way often missing within the world and even the body of Christ. Thanks, Lisa!

Anonymous, Retired LMFT, retired director of church counseling center

As I read through your book, it's therapy. The Lord began the healing journey in me a few years ago, but He's using your words to fertilize that healing. The impact for me personally has been great. Thank you for penning each word on those pages. 

Anonymous

Lisa, your book intimidates me. It knows more about me than I want it to. The words have challenged me and brought into the light spaces that were so dark that I didn’t know they were spaces at all... It’s a painful first step! And then a difficult one, as the lights flick on and suddenly there is before you something new filled with something very old. A storage space in the back of the closet harboring junk you only so briefly new existed. That’s how your book is for me. I’m thankful for it. I’ve finished it, but I’ll be back to it again and again... “Peace for a Lifetime” is bringing about a long-sought-after change in my heart. A spark in a process that I know the Lord will continue throughout my journey. Thank you, sweet Lisa, for writing on this topic we’re not taught about. Thank you for writing to those with little and big “t” traumas so that they all can be handled and felt healthily. Thank you for obeying the Lord in your writing and being an example of faith- He’s used you as vessel for my healing, at very least! It’s a blessing and an honor.

Anonmyous

I just finished the book...amazing! I honestly just want to start all over again and work on slowly applying each chapter. Loved it! Wanted to share these sweet moments Lisa Springer Murray - my son Ben (16)was chatting with a friend who had recently gone through a break up. All of the sudden I see him run downstairs and grab your book. I listened as he asked his friend the questions from page 98 about processing emotions. After he hung up he said that it had helped his friend a lot just being able to talk it out. It was only a couple weeks ago that Ben was asking me what it meant to process emotions and now he's passing on the knowledge. I love how applicable this book is! In addition my 14 year old daughter and I had gotten into a disagreement about shoes (girls!). Afterwards she came to me and said: "I'm sorry for how I acted. When that happened with the shoes I was frustrated and I just wanted to share that with you. I love you." I thought I was going to pass out! Taking the time to intentionally teach these principles to my kids is paying off. You are making a BIG difference in the life of my family. I really can't thank you enough.

Anonymous

Earlier today my hubby and I were discussing setting an intentional time to review the book and its exercises with the kids. ‪Lisa - you've written a life-changer. Praise God!

Anonymous

I have a confession to make. As I got a few chapters into the book, I found myself dealing with emotional baggage from the past that I had not expected to find... Like Lisa Springer Murray talks about in the very first chapter, I was angry. Mad. Resentful. And I didn't even know it. I say all of that to say this - there is real work and healing coming from this book and these words. And I am so thankful for that. It is a wonderful book. Sometimes that work is not easy. But it's always worth it!

Anonymous

This was such a blessing to read. Lisa is an anointed author. God worked deeply in my heart as I read through this. This is a must read!!

Anonymous

Have you ever read something that someone else has written and it speaks exactly what you feel in your heart, almost as if you had written it yourself? I've been glued to the pages of my friend Lisa Springer Murray's new book, Peace for a Lifetime.  WOW! I love how God will allow you to revisit moments to be reminded of His goodness. I'm still working on leaning in but the journey is oh so sweet! You know the very last word she wrote, "belovedness" really made me smile... Y'all will love the heart behind this book and the message Lisa brings. 

Anonymous

Reviews:

Suzanne Eller – Proverbs 31 speaker and writer - ‪http://buff.ly/1S3knbJ ‪

Angela Howard - http://www.noordinarydays.com/2016/02/29/you-can-experience-peace-for-a-lifetime/

Angela Parlin - http://www.angelaparlin.com/peace-for-lifetime/

It's not available just yet, but in a few days it will be available

on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Online!

---

Blessings, 

Lisa

---

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

From Pain To Peace

ONE WEEK UNTIL THE MARCH 7

"PEACE FOR A LIFETIME" BOOK LAUNCH!!!!!

I'm honored to be guest posting today at my dear friend, Kelly Balarie's place, Purposeful Faith.  She has been a fearless and passionate follower of Christ, leader, and cheerleader in the online community.  Let's show her our community love and support by visiting her site and share, share, share the post on Facebook and Twitter.

Also, if you haven't had the chance to support the "Peace For A Lifetime" book launch on Thunderclap, please click here>> https://www.thunderclap.it/en/projects/37713-peace-for-a-lifetime-release?utm_content=buffer0291d&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer.

 It takes 30 seconds!!!  Blessings, friends!

It was the tipping point. The beginning of the fall. No, it wasn’t a crash, a sudden impact dive that you didn’t see coming. I saw this coming. I could feel it making its way toward me and yet, I was entirely helpless to stop it.

It was a slow, distinct unraveling. That moment where you can feel the wheels teetering ever so slightly out of balance until the whole thing comes unhinged. My heart, that is.

This was the season of my undoing.....   To read the rest of the article, click here!!!

---

[yikes-mailchimp form="1" title="1" description="1" submit="Submit"]

Blessings,

Lisa